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Amy Morin

Psychotherapist, bestselling author of The 13 Habits of Mentally Strong People.

To survive during any trials, you need to be able to control your thoughts, feelings and actions. Here are four simple tips to help you.

1. Accept reality

Acceptance does not mean consent. You just need to recognize that this or that event is a fait accompli. Resisting and repeating that this should not have happened, you are just wasting time and effort. By accepting what is happening, you will take the first step in order to find a way out of the situation.

Imagine a traffic jam. One person will think: “How unfair! And why does this always happen to me? He will begin to get angry, nervous and swear with other drivers.

The mentally resilient person will simply remind himself, “There are millions of cars on the roads every day, and it’s only natural that there will be traffic jams from time to time.” This attitude will help keep you calm. Such a person will turn on the podcast and wait for traffic to recover.

To accept reality, we need to understand what we can control and what we can’t. In situations that you have no control over, try to control yourself.

2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Acceptance of reality will help streamline thoughts and feelings. This is the key to productive behavior. How we behave when faced with a problem determines how quickly we find a solution to it. Even if our problem cannot be solved (for example, the loss of a loved one), we still choose how to respond to what happened every time.

Do not indulge in self-pity. It will not allow you to move on and completely deprive you of the strength of the spirit. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to help myself in some way?” You may have to overcome your fear or do something unpleasant. The main thing is to act.

3. Control sad thoughts

The mind can be both our best ally and our worst enemy. If you allow negative thoughts to take over, you simply won’t be able to do anything.

Thoughts like “I can never do this” or “I can’t take a minute longer” will prevent you from achieving your goals. So try to notice when your thoughts become too pessimistic.

If you feel like you are panicking, think about what you would say if your friend were in this situation. Surely you would encourage him and assure him that everything will work out for him.

4. Train mental resilience in advance

A crisis situation is not the right time to start developing psychological resilience. This must be done in advance.

You won’t wait until you need to lift something heavy to start pumping muscles, will you? It is unlikely that it will help you if you undertake to pull iron five minutes before moving the sofa. But by building up strength gradually, you will be able to lift more weight.

The same can be said about psychological stability. So that you have enough fortitude to overcome life’s difficulties, train it every day.